Hope

I always ramble on about how awesome Hope is. Hope is the single thing in my life that motivates me to continue it - hope that I can better myself and my station, hope that I can teach, share, and learn from my cousins, my family, my friends. Hope that all the things I long for, strive for, work for will eventually be within my grasp. Hope that things will only get better...

But Hope is a double-edged sword. It gives me strength and motivation and yet saps it ten fold.

"Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." - Red, Shawshank Redemption

I hope for so many things, and some times, often at the most important of times, that hope is extinguished right before my eyes. In those moments, there is no worse feeling...it feels like nothing could ever make me hope again. Hope is for fools! Hope is deceptive like the light shining down upon you underneath the water, as you struggle to climb, to reach for it, only to end up drowning before breaking the surface!

And yet...I pick myself up, and allow myself to hope once more. No matter how many times I am knocked down, no matter how many times I am greeted with failure, dismissal, or untruth, I will hope...because I can't let the actions of one person, the results of one event, control the direction of my life and definitely not the content of my personality and shape of my disposition.

I hope for so much, for myself, for my family, for my friends, but most importantly, I hope that Hope spreads, just a little, from the things I choose to do, things I choose to say, and definitely from the things I choose to believe and think.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." Andy, Shawshank Redemption