Parenthood

Sunday marked the close of the latest chapter of my life and the opening of an entirely new one. Yet over the course of roughly the past two years, Life has deigned to test my resolve, my commitment, and my tenacity. As I've progressively struggled to complete even the most menial of tasks, as usual, as always, my wife has been by my side. She continues to prove to me that it is indeed possible to love selflessly without fear and reservation. Yet for all the issues I've had with my health, both in the past and in the present, absolutely nothing compares to parenthood.

I distinctly remember watching The Two Towers with my dad and him specifically pointing out the scene between Theoden and Gandalf. That no parent should have to bury their child. Truer words have never been spoken. Regardless of the medical terminology, seeing his face, his tiny hands and feet, I couldn't help but feel like a father that had lost his son. Not a single day goes by that he doesn't cross my mind.

The fear. The anxiety. The hope that can suddenly turn into despair. It's been a better part of a year now that we've been afraid to share good news in the case it might turn into bad news. Allowed important relationships to deteriorate and sacrificed travel and connecting in the pursuit of parenthood once again. We always remind ourselves that those that matter don't mind, but it is difficult when time doesn't stand still and life goes on. I imagine once again having friends and family visiting to reconnect the threads that bind us and it gives me peace of mind. A hope that will remain hope.

These thoughts that have swirled and crashed inside my mind are finally seeing the light of day. To put them into words, to define them, describe them, and leave them here felt like a necessary step before I take my next one. To remember my first son as I welcome my second.

And so I welcome Theodore Koob Hmoov Vang. Happy birthday Theodore! You have your entire life ahead of you and I will try my very best to provide you with love and support to accomplish everything you wish. Your mom and I are so very excited and overcome with joy at your arrival. You are truly a blessing and there aren't enough words to describe what you mean to us. Oh the places you'll go!